I had a lightbulb moment that changed my life a few months ago. This might be easy for some but it’s a process for me. As I grow I’m learning to feel my feelings. I’m learning to listen to what my body is telling me and I’m learning how different feelings feel in my body.
My lightbulb moment was this—I have mood emotions and moment emotions.
Mood emotions are a general feeling—like feeling excited for an upcoming trip or stressed about bad news.
Moment emotions are what I am feeling in any given moment. I’m often surprised by my moment emotions. For example, when our offer was accepted for our new house my mood emotion was excited, thrilled! But when I went inward to feel my moment feeling I felt a little scared our safe and cozy family dynamic might be lost if we moved homes. It was so helpful to feel both my mood emotion and my moment emotion. I realized how layered emotions can be. I want to feel all my feelings. I want to know myself.
Another time one of David’s doctors strongly recommended a surgery that would have impacted his quality of life. My mood immediately shifted and I felt overwhelmed, scared and sad. But as I took a moment to go inward and feel the feelings in my body I found my moment emotion was anger. I was angry because I thought this doctor was wrong. I felt her solution didn’t match the problem. She wasn’t listening to us and considering David’s needs. Feeling that anger instead of only feeling overwhelmed helped me look at the situation differently. We realized we don’t have to pursue this surgery. We can advocate for David.
WHOA! I was so surprised to experience my moment emotion and I was surprised how I could use it to shape my mood. I suddenly felt empowered and hopeful.
Do you have mood emotions and moment emotions? I’m so curious—does this make sense to you? Can you relate?
Lisa, it will never be “okay” for you, in the way most of us would define “okay”. We cannot know if dying is really “okay” until we die, but it may just be it is a relief from the distress we have here. David knows he was loved and lived his best life while with you. That is what is okay. I am so sorry for your pain. What you have shared may help others who are in the same place.