I’ve written over 2,000 posts on my blog. But I’m not writer.
I’ve been writing for (in)courage for years alongside amazing women—many of who have published books. But I always felt a little out of place because I’m not a writer.
I love to read, I cherish deep conversations with a trusted friend, I connect with others when I share my heart through written words, but I’m not a writer.
I’ve told myself for a long time, “I don’t care about writing. Writing is part of what I do, but I’m not a writer.”
The thought of writing a book felt overwhelming. How would I even begin such a massive project? So instead I’ve shared my heart through photos and short blog posts and heartfelt paragraphs.
And I’ve been fine with that. Mostly.
For the last year I’ve been working with an executive coach and it’s been life changing. I wanted to know how to make my business better. I hoped to focus my time and energy on things I’m passionate about and remove distractions from my life. I wanted to uncover my life purpose.
He started by having me complete a couple inventories to understand my values and strengths. What emerged, to my surprise, is word; both written and spoken, is very important to me.
“That’s strange”, I thought, “because I’m not a writer.”
Or am I?
I love written words. I love story telling. I’m passionate about being honest and vulnerable. This community has been a place where I connect and grow. We’ve journeyed together, sometimes in person, but most often through written words.
“What if I am a writer?” I thought.
I felt a spark of hope in my heart and a turning in my stomach. The thought both thrilled and terrified me.
What if deep down I want to write but I’ve been afraid to admit it to myself? What if I’m not pursuing the thing I’m most passionate about because I’m scared?
“I want to write.” I allowed the words to move through my brain and settle on my shoulders.
“I want to ask my heart what it wants to say and share it with others. I want to connect on a heart level through written words.”
I’ve told myself so many negative messages over the years.
For years I told myself I wasn’t a good dancer, but I learned to dance. In fact, my husband and I fell in love during swing dance classes.
I told myself I wasn’t athletic, but as an adult I’ve learned to love hiking and my body is strong.
I’ve told myself I wasn’t good at parallel parking but I think I’ve finally mastered it.
What if my negative messages are simply away to assuage my fears?
Oh my gosh, what if I’m a writer?
I’ve begun making space for quiet. I’ve begun setting aside time to write. As soon as I slowed down to do these things words started coming and coming fast. So I put them down on paper—even though I was scared. When I went back and read over my words I knew, yes, this is what my heart wanted to say. I published my thoughts, my feelings, my heart on my blog even though I had a lump in my throat.
And you read my words and encouraged me. You left comments to share your own story, your own heart. Thank you.
As I’m making time for quiet and making space for writing, I can feel this what I’m meant to do. I’m growing and learning as I write. I’m beginning to dip my toes into deeper waters, wondering if I could write a book some day.
I’m learning what it looks like to live with honesty and bravery.
I’m finding courage even in my fear.
I’m beginning to believe I’m a writer.
…
What if the thing you fear most is what truly matters most to your heart?
Is there a negative message you’ve been telling yourself? Share the first thing that comes to mind. Let’s dream big together!
I was just wondering how old David is. He looks much like my niece who is also challenged. She is 33 now. Talks some, signs. Walks but slow and tires easily. has all her fingers but has stiff hands with limited range of motion. Small features, small head. She has no particular diagnosis, just an odd genetic defect when her DNA was tested. Katie lives at home with her parents, is involved in the lives of her two married siblings as much as possible. We have all learned to look at many things differently thanks to Katie.
Hello! David is 14 years old. Your niece sounds like a beautiful soul! xo
Lisa, I could have written this exact post! Thank you for your words; they were just what I needed to read today as I embark on my own writing journey.
I too have struggled with the idea of being a writer. I am finding that it has layers of acceptance. I embrace it then lose confidence then embrace it again. Connecting with other writers to get encouragement and feedback has been invaluable. Write on!
Yes. You. Are. ❤ Your words offer life because they spill out of The Life.
I have always enjoyed reading mom blogs and christian mom blogs are my favorite. I was never one to go look for one or to follow any. I found one of yours on Facebook that someone had shared or something and clicked on it to read the article. It was the one about “the unwanted gift” maybe. It struck home with me though because at the same time i became a mom 2 1/2 years ago for which i had always dreamed about i also found out that i had an autoimmune disease that was kicked in high gear from the traumatic labor and emergency c section i had. so at the same time of becoming a mom which is the happiest time of our lives and yet the most life changing thing that happens to us in my opinion, I also got very sick and unable to care for myself and my child like i desired and ending up having to leave my dream job that i had spent so much hard work in school getting a degree for and had only had the privilege of enjoying for 4 shorts years. so my life was turned upside down at what was supposed to be my prime and me reaching my biggest dreams. I’m ashamed to say how hard it was and how unhappy i was because i am a very happy go lucky, optimistic, bubbly people person and it turned me into a person i wasn’t proud of or couldn’t understand because of all of my new pains and limitations. Thankfully with Gods wonderful help i started making time for devotions in the mornings and journaling and what i learned in those few minutes each morning in one year is mind blowing! i could write a book ok just that! but he turned my situation and my disease that was so ugly, miserable, pitiful into the best thing that had ever happened to me! what seemed like a unwanted burden turned into a wonderful gift to slow down and learn myself, what was important, what God thought of me and the amazing way that in our weakest times that he really does provide his strength for us. It turned into a gift and the things i learned and the trust i earned in him and the faith i built during those hard hard times is priceless and was worth all the pain! so needless to say you were the first blog i kept going back to lol! during my devotions, journaling and prayer God has revealed to me time and time again that i am supposed to be ministering or writing and that is my biggest fear! but with each day and each battle he fights for me i get one step closer to doing it. i know that when the time is right he will provide all i need to do the test he has planned for me. i know that he will do the same for you! so i will just keep following you until the time comes for me 🙂 your words inspire and touch the heart and the way you communicate and reach people is different and rare and thats what makes you special! thats what makes me keep coming back to follow you! you got this! bless you!!
Hello,
I ordered some rings from your website today, and decided to read your
blog. I was amazed that I have some of the same negative feeling running
around in my head and I too want to write and learn to dance!! Thank you for
giving me hope, that one day I will be able to rise above the self doubt and
accomplish those things! Keep writing, its wonderful!
Just so you know…I follow many blogs; and just so you know….I have your blog bookmarked; and just so you know…you are a real, non-pretentious person who is all about reality and goodness and hard-working Mom-ness. We are all growing and changing and evolving into who we are. Some of us do it quietly/silently and some of us are more “forward” about it. Your courageousness to share your life story is both inspiring and heartwarming. I believe you are a writer and I hope to continue to read more. Godspeed Lisa!
This is awesome! I’ve recently started a blog about my ministry at the local jail. In addition to writing about what happens, I’ve also written a fictional account of what it would be like to be locked up through the eyes of a character I’ve created. I had NO IDEA that was even in me to do! I’ve had several friends mention it could be a book. I’ve loved reading your posts, the writings, the poems, and connect with your style. YES to the book! Yes to chasing down our fears and running right past them!
Oh Lisa, you ARE a writer! We love your writing. That’s why we all look everyday for some heartfelt inspiration from you. Your writing helps us be better individuals as we identify with your words. You are inspitation to us! Merry Christmas to you and your family. On behalf of your blog readers….we love you!! Keep going!
Here’s something that we’ve all known all along…of course you’re a writer!
And a very good one, because it comes from the heart
I love this post! We give ourselves so many messages, to protect us from failure and disappointment. I always dreamed of learning Spanish and living abroad. A few years ago, I got a tutor, studied Spanish for a year then went to Guatemala for three weeks. It’s amazing to just try new things and see how they work out.
Ugh so many fears and insecurities. But I also feel compelled to do what scares me sometimes, and after I’ve done it, I realize it’s really not that scary after all. Scared of public speaking, scared of getting lost when I drive somewhere new, scared of social settings, scared to be in charge of something, scared to set boundaries with others and the list goes on and on… Thank you for your honesty. Transparency is a magical thing!??
I love this post, and I love your vulnerability. You could definitely write a book! How about a book that describes your life – raising two children with different abilities, realities of marriage with a child who requires extra care, running a business, etc. I am an early childhood special education teacher, and I would love to read this type of book and share one like this with my families! Bkeasings to you and your family!